


One Last Time

by Jeiidaan



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chapter 120 if Rin couldn't keep it together and stop himself from crying, Comfort Food, Gen, Shiro is a good and caring father, They cook together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeiidaan/pseuds/Jeiidaan
Summary: It wasn’t gourmet and Rin could tell his father had learned a bit more towards the end. The flakes were grilled unevenly and cooked at too high a heat making the inside just not warm enough. It needed more soy sauce and the butter hadn’t been melted properly. Yet it still managed to cause a pang in his chest. Despite all the technical problems, it tasted like home. It was the most delicious thing he’d ever put into his mouth and his heart had never felt so full.
Comments: 36
Kudos: 156





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rynoa29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynoa29/gifts).



> Chapter 120 made me cry. I love Shiro Fujimoto. I love this stupid dad. God help me I love this chapter. Here's a little bit of extra warmth for that beautiful hurt feeling. 
> 
> Gifted to my best friend and writing partner who inspired this idea.

Rin didn’t know where exactly he was going. He just knew he had to go somewhere, but the key seemed to be able to read his heart. The hiss of cooking oil on a stove was familiar as well as the smell of cooked soy sauce. It brought back memories that made his mouth water and his chest clench. He looked around, but he didn’t need to to know where he was.

Home.

He was home.

“You’re finally back, huh? Where’ve you guys been lollygagging?”

Rin had been hearing his dad’s voice so often that there was a part of him that didn’t react at first. He was glancing around, taking in the little differences in the room, how the kitchen still looked somewhat new, less used. Rin’s eyes focused on one corner of the counter where a tile still wasn’t cracked from the one time he was frustrated with a cast iron pan. 

“... Who are you?”

Rin’s eyes flicked towards Shiro finally and tensed up as their gazes met. Shiro could see him. Rin’s hand immediately moved up to the top of his head and his breath seized. 

_My hood…!_

“Uh…!” Rin struggled for words, for an excuse. He’d just walked into someone’s home. He couldn’t tell Shiro he was his son from the future! After all, that sort of thing messed up timelines, right? Would Shiro explode? Would he explode?

“Oh well.” Shiro was walking towards him and Rin felt his heart pounding away in his chest. “Have a seat. And try one of these.”

Shiro turned to the table, tilting a pan over a small platter. The smell couldn’t be more familiar. Grilled onigiri with bonito flakes, butter, and soy sauce. It was a staple their father had made so many times when Rin was young. Since the day Shiro died, Rin was never able to eat anything close to it. The dish brought too much pain, too many memories, yet there they were, sitting right in front of him. 

“First time I’ve made this. Give it a taste, will you?” Shiro shifted the plate in front of a chair and looked at Rin with an expectant smile.

“Uh… Okay...” Rin took a deep breath. It would be awkward to run away now… And besides, he didn’t really want to run. His mouth was watering and he wanted nothing more than to sit down and pretend like nothing was different. So he did. He sat down and took a fresh onigiri. He stared at it for a moment before biting into the top.

It wasn’t gourmet and Rin could tell his father had learned a bit more towards the end. The flakes were grilled unevenly and cooked at too high a heat making the inside just not warm enough. It needed more soy sauce and the butter hadn’t been melted properly.

Yet it still managed to cause a pang in his chest. Despite all the technical problems, it tasted like home. It was the most delicious thing he’d ever put into his mouth and his heart had never felt so full. 

“It tastes great…” Rin muttered quietly. Though maybe he should be more honest. He couldn’t let Shiro know how much the onigiri had affected him. “B… But maybe a little bland.”

“I thought so.” Shiro hummed in thought and Rin looked up to find himself chomping away at one. “I remember a friend making them for me. Still trying to work out the recipe.”

Rin’s stomach growled loudly in response to the food, betraying his true feelings and reminding Rin he hadn’t eaten all day. He’d been so wrapped up in finding out the reasons behind his and Yukio’s birth that eating hadn’t crossed his mind. 

Shiro’s laugh felt warm. It was loud and boisterous and rushed through him like a heavy wind. 

“I made plenty, so eat all you want!” He grinned. 

Rin murmured out a thanks as he watched Shiro bustle around the kitchen and keep talking. Oh… He was assuming Rin was from the order. He supposed it made sense. Rin was wearing an exorcist coat after all. Shiro talked about units and special corps, things Rin didn’t really understand and flew over his head. He carefully put another onigiri into his mouth, watching Shiro bustle around with rapt attention. A cup of water was placed in front of him as Shiro spoke. Rin never let his mouth stay empty as he listened to him. The taste and his father’s voice as he engaged him in conversation felt so familiar it was slowly tearing him apart.

It felt strange looking at his younger self, at Yukio’s younger self. His chest hurt as he heard how fondly his dad spoke, the gentle tone as he stated his reasons for teaching Yukio to be an exorcist… for teaching Rin to cook. Every bit of scolding Rin could remember suddenly felt different. Every time Rin called Shiro a shitty old man suddenly felt off. 

Tears were brimming in his eyes as Shiro spoke and Rin stuffed another onigiri in his mouth to try and drown his feelings, but the taste only made him feel more.

“When I look at them… It’s more than worth it.” Shiro’s voice was so gentle. Rin opened his mouth to respond but all that came out was a soft whimper.

Shiro was looking at him with a strange expression and Rin quickly stood up. 

“I-I should be going…!” Rin turned around quickly, tears already flowing down his cheeks.

“Wait.” 

Rin didn’t listen as he hurried towards the door. If he stopped now, he’d surely break.

“Rin, wait.”

He froze in shock long enough for two strong hands to clasp his shoulders and turn him around. Rin felt tears fall as he stared at his father eye to eye. The fond look he’d seen just directed at his younger self and younger brother was now being directed at him. There was a soft, wry smile on Shiro’s lips. Rin opened his mouth, but he was unable to speak.

“I don’t need to know what happened.” Shiro spoke firmly, but warmly. “I don’t want to know what happened, even though I’m really curious.” He pulled Rin close to him, hugging him tightly against his chest. Rin’s arms stayed limply at his sides, his brain still struggling to catch up with what was happening. “But… you look like you’ve been through hell, kid.”

He broke. Rin lifted his arms and latched onto his dad’s shirt, gripping as tightly as he could as sobs wracked his shoulders.

“D-Dad…!” Rin whimpered, burying his face in Shiro’s shoulder. He could feel his father’s breath, feel his heartbeat against his chest, feel the strength in his arms as he held Rin close. For right now, in this exact moment, his father was alive. Bubbling sobs kept surfacing, shaking his form as Shiro slowly rubbed his back.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright.” Shiro’s voice was gentle. “Deep breaths, kiddo. Deep breaths.”

Rin struggled to follow the instructions, but each inhale was uneven. Still, his dad was supportive. 

“There you go.” Shiro chuckled. “Jeez, you’re still a cute brat, aren’t you?”

“Sh-Shut up!” Rin snapped through his cries and Shiro laughed louder. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, hugging him a little tighter. “You’re definitely Rin.”

Rin let out a sob filled laugh as his fingers dug tightly into Shiro’s back. They remained that way until Rin’s tears had slowed to a gentle trickle and his breath evened out. 

“There.” Shiro leaned back after a few more moments and took Rin’s face in his hands. He wiped up the tears off his cheeks and ruffled his hair. “Wait here.”

Shiro guided Rin to a chair and Rin fell heavily into it. He watched as Shiro approached the couch where he and his brother were sleeping. Slowly, Shiro picked them up, one at a time, in each arm. The sight caused another pang in his chest. Shiro carried the sleeping boys out of the room and Rin glanced backwards to the door. He should go. He shouldn’t be there anymore. He was probably interfering too much as it is. 

He waited. Rin’s logical thoughts just weren’t connecting with his feet. He couldn’t bring himself to leave. He wanted… He wanted to stay.

Eventually, Shiro returned. Rin figured he took them to their bedroom and now it was just them two, alone. 

“Um-”

“Wait, before you say anything.” Shiro lifted up his hand. “I meant what I said before. I know what Mephisto is capable of so I’m assuming this is something to do with his bullshit keys.”

Rin looked to the side. His expression seemed telling enough as Shiro reached over and ruffled his hair. 

“So anything you want to tell me, it’s fine as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s coming. Deal?” 

He looked up, his dad’s hand heavy on his head. “Yeah, I can do that.” Rin gave him a shaky smile.

“Good.” Shiro patted Rin’s head and turned back to the stove. “So, you cook?”

“Thought I wasn’t supposed to tell ya.” Rin gave Shiro a shit eating grin, though the mirth was clear in his eyes.

“Oh you got her smack talk.” Shiro rubbed his forehead with a soft chuckle. “Okay, smartass, get over here. Let’s see what you got.”

Rin stood up so quickly he almost tossed the chair over. 

When was the last time he’d smiled like this in the kitchen? He didn’t notice until then but ever since his dad had died, the kitchen never felt the same. It had become his escape rather than what it used to be, a place of warmth, love, and fun. 

Cooking for someone and cooking with someone were two different ways to live and Rin found he really missed the latter. There was just something about Shiro’s impressed whistle at the expert way he formed the rice ball that fulfilled him just a bit deeper than someone enjoying what he cooked. There was just something about the gentle touch on Rin’s back as Shiro walked behind him while he focused on the stove, wordlessly telling Rin not to back up lest he topple something over. There was just something about this…

The onigiri tasted better this time, though technically it was more delicious with Rin having more experience with them, the taste came mostly from his feelings. A meal he’d cooked with his dad. 

One last meal, one last time. 

They ate again, Rin leaving Shiro to do most of the chatting. Rin didn’t want to say the wrong thing or say too much and listening to Shiro’s voice was filling his heart in a way nothing else had been able to do. 

Shiro paused mid sentence and a wide grin took over his lips. Rin realized he’d just been smiling as he listened and suddenly felt a bit bashful. 

“What?” Rin huffed dubiously, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. 

“Just, you know… I was worried. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do right by you but… It’s nice to know you turned out alright,” Shiro confessed quietly. 

Rin blinked. His confident father faltered before him and he had never felt so loved, so cared about. He stood up and quickly wrapped his arms around Shiro, hugging him tightly. The man hugged him back with strong, young arms that twisted Rin’s heart with a powerful nostalgia.

“Dad… Thank you. For everything,” he whispered.

Shiro’s hold around him tightened and he chuckled softly. His breath was just a bit uneven.

“... It was nothing.” 

The gentle voice carried itself into his ear and Rin found tears welling up in his eyes again. He cried again. He had so much he wanted to say, but he knew he couldn’t say any of it. He couldn’t tell Shiro what was going on in the present. He knew he couldn’t stay there and live. He knew he would have to leave soon, despite the happiness he felt in this singular moment. He had too much to do, too much at stake. He had to get Yukio back no matter what.

So he did the only thing he could. He thanked Shiro. 

He thanked Shiro just one last time.


End file.
